The Human Cannonball (In Space!)

Alright, enough playing around. Sure, spaceships look cool, but can they actually get us to Mars? I'm not convinced. I prefer to stick to 'ol reliable: the human body (aka the original space ship). Why waste resources on years of research when we KNOW that shooting a human out of a cannon will keep its passenger flying until it hits something (hello, it's called an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object.  Do you think Looney Tunes was just making stuff up??). It honestly feels irresponsible to not begin funding on this immediately. 

My model features everything you'll need to be able to effectively shoot a person to Mars.  A cannon (disguised as one of those cool spaceships), a willing participant, and a fire source (I'm pretty sure fire works in space).  Simply light the fuse and usher in a new age of human existence!

The astronaut will not be able to be retrieved. That's just something we're all going to have to live with.